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Friends first?

What does it mean when someone’s profile says “Friends first”? Pure curiosity. I am happily in a great relationship and not looking for anything at this point, but I have seen so many people say this on their profiles when in fact they indicate that they are looking to date. Isn’t dating about chemistry, attraction and passion that has a potential to grow into something with more substance? That’s how I understand the process.

A thought such as this “I feel absolutely no attraction to you, but let’s become friends. Maybe we can grow from our friendship into romance” has never crossed my mind. And I really don’t think there are many people who will continue going out with someone they are not attracted to just to be friends if they’ve met on a dating site.

Now, there are other avenues from which people become friends, and then sometimes develop a romantic relationship. But, please! when people are single and looking on a dating site, that goes without saying that they are interested in more then just making friends. No?

Sex?

I’ve been reading these forums for a few months now and everyday there is a post about “All men want is Sex” I’m thinking, So what!!! I want sex everyday too, does that make me a bad person? Fact is, it’s natural, healthy, and fun. Does it mean you have to give it up unless you want to? No… you don’t. And just because he does want sex does that mean he’s not worth getting to know better? Maybe he’s just got a high libido. Maybe he’s just naturally that way.. can’t that just be accepted? Within reason of course, we don’t want to be mauled on the street. Everyone is different. Some guys are more subtle, some guys are more right up front about it. Some guys want the girl to make the move so they don’t get accused of being a DOG!

I’m sure there’s a lot of women who feel the same way, and i think that society has made us think we have to be demure about our wants and needs or stifle them, and that’s kind of sad. Of course there should be safe sex, that’s #1.. but why stuff feelings or expect someone else to stuff how they feel. If you are attracted, there’s nothing wrong with that… you don’t always have to act on it and give in, or run away, you might just meet the man of your dreams if you get to know that sexy wanton creature…never know!

I’d rather run from someone that was into drugs or alcohol abuse. That’s much more distructive than showing or telling someone that they are wanted. Sheesh… what a crime!

Geting out there??

Getting back into the game when you have been out for so long.

I swore that I would never do this internet dating thing. But honestly with the price of gas it just seems to be a more frugal way of meeting people.

I am finding, I really don’t like the meat market. It is so uncomfortable. When you are comfortable in a relationship and it comes to an end, there is nothing worse then starting over. I just spent 4 yrs ready to get married for it to end 6 months before the wedding. Then I found it so easy to get into another relationship with a good friend of mine. Now after a year, that came to an end. And I dread the idea of starting over with someone I don’t know, and really don’t want work at getting to know someone new.

For the first time in my life, I want to really take things slow. I hate feeling pressured to do anything other then talk on a first date. I want to be in public places so things move slowly, but all these guys (so far, I don’t want to offend the rare guy out there) just want to get right to the bedroom. I’m not a kid anymore; I want more then the one night stand. But like I said, on the same note, it is so hard when you have been off the market for so long.

Any intelligent suggestions?

Deal Breakers.

If you ask a chick out on a date before even knowing her name. You are going to get deleted without a reply, simple. Especially if this is your first message to her. Even if you have sent her two or three messages. If you have showed little to no interest in getting to know her and have showed no interest in having a conversation with her. You are not going to get a reply and most likley deleted. Another automatic delete: Phone numbers and hotmail addresses to chat on messenger in the first message. If you can’t be bothered to spend the time getting to know each other. To even find out if you guys can hold a conversation first before you want to take it else where. You are not going to get a reply. I know I am not the only one that feels this way. Girls need time to talk and get to know the person before agreeing to go out with them. Why do guys seem in such a rush around here?

Feel free to reply with anything you would like to add. I know I left alot out. But alot of these are based on my experience’s on dating sites. Guys feel free to reply also with things you also hate girls messaging that gets them deleted without a second thought.

Growing old alone?

In a world that sees so much Infidelity and Indecisiveness , is it possible to find a soulmate? It seems like its so hard nowadays to find a mate let alone a spouse that will love you unconditionally till the end….

I was wondering if other people worry about growing old alone. Ive seen so many people that are widowed, left for another after 10,20, 30 years- I know I cant be alone when I worry about this question.

Any thoughts because I would love to hear other peoples prespectives……

Why woman date jerks?

For the life of me I can’t understand why single women are attracted to jerks. Maybe this article can explain why:

You and I must understand that women DON’T go deliberately looking for a jerk. Women are not “bad” people at all. Quite the opposite. But WOMEN ARE COMPLETELY CONTROLLED BY THIS ANCIENT MATING INSTINCT. Therefore, they have NO OTHER CHOICE but to go after ANY strong, dominant, untamable male. Or any male who can make her FEEL all those intense, uncontrollable feelings she lives for. The key to understanding women’s strange behavior is “they have NO OTHER CHOICE” but to fall for these type of males.

And the jerk HAPPENS to be THAT TYPE of male. Or at least, the jerk has learned HOW TO PLAY that role. The nice guy IS NOT that type of male. The nice guy cannot even play that role. If a nice guy became strong and dominant and HARD TO GET, she will go BLINDLY after that nice guy. The proof that I am right is that EVERY TIME a nice guy starts ACTING like a jerk, HE IS SUDDENLY WANTED BY ALL THOSE WOMEN WHO USED TO IGNORE HIM BEFORE. Women don’t really want jerks. They probably want a nice guy. But … “what women -WANT” and “what women NEED” are two different things. And their Subconscious ”genetic” programming, that NEED to feel and feel and feel, will make women go uncontrollably after what they NEED, not what they want. And that is true of EVERY person, in any area of life. They will attract into their lives and/or will go toward what they subconsciously NEED, not what they think they want.

What a woman genetically NEEDS is the type of man who will trigger in her all those intense feelings and emotions. Why?. Because a female NEEDS to experience those uncontrollable feelings/emotions to surrender completely to him. Once she FEELS that way about him she will do anything and everything for/with him. Women are SUCKERS for those very intense emotions and feelings that they were “genetically” programmed to experience for a certain type of male, the dominant, strong one. They NEED to FEEL those feelings to surrender to him. It has a lot to do with Estrogen, the “feeling” hormone as opposed to testosterone, the “performance/achievement” hormone. While most men are born to be “doers” most females are “be-ers” or “feelers”.

Women will love and go after ANY man who is able to “ignite” those feelings in them. Unfortunately, a “nice”, sensitive, wimpy type of guy does not generate those feelings in women. A strong, dominant, hard-to-get! man DOES. And the jerk fits in this category. And the jerk knows how to “ignite” those intense feelings and emotions women are addicted to. A jerk and a hard-to-get man make her feel … feel…feel … crazy, excited, turned on. A “nice” guy makes her feel … feel … feel …. bored to death.

Even when women fall for a guy who is very handsome, they will leave him very quickly if they discover he is a nice guy who can be easily controlled by females. It happens all the time. And they will go after some not-so-handsome type, even ugly one, who is strong and dominant. Even married women will do the craziest things and go after THE guy who can “ignite” those feelings in them. What she loves are the feelings she FEELS. Not the guy! But in her mind, the guy and the feelings become inseparable. She loves the feelings. Therefore, she falls in love with the guy who can make her feel that way.

Now, it will be totally futile to try to explain to any woman that she doesn’t really love guy A. But that she really loves THE WAY guy A makes her feel. She will tell you that you are crazy. But this is the truth. In a nutshell: Person A loves person B because of the way person B makes person A feel. More precisely, Person B satisfies the deepest VALUES that Person A needs satisfied to believe/know that she is in love with Person B.

Women were “genetically” programmed to be SUCKERS for intense feelings and emotions in order to surrender and mate.
The jerks and the hard-to-get guys DO “trigger” those intense, uncontrollable emotions she “genetically” loves. A nice guy does NOT.
ANY man who learns HOW to make her FEEL the way she was “genetically” programmed to FEEL, FEEL AND FEEL, will have her doing anything and everything he wants.
Remember that men are “doers”. Women love feelings. They live to FEEL, FEEL AND FEEL.
If YOU can make her FEEL the way she wants to feel, she will LINK all those pleasurable, intense feelings with/to you. YOU will be satisfying her deepest, most treasured VALUES. Then, she will become ADDICTED to you. And you will make her fall in love with you.

Rules for men & woman

The Man Rules

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered ‘1 ‘

ON PURPOSE!

1.    Men are NOT mind readers.

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

 

 

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.

Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other  one

 

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…

Really .

 

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Rugby or golf.

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape.Round IS a shape!

 

end quote:

 

          *****************************

 

Now any guy who imposes these rules is sure as hell not going to get any in a long time because women’s rule no 1 says:  “I have the fanny, so I make the rules.”  So guys, you can think it, bet sjezzzz don’t say it.

Fanny rules.  Period.

Paid Dating sites vs Free sites.

Let’s start with free dating sites.
There’s nothing like a free lunch.
You get a service that you need and you pay nothing for it.

This is the silver bullet of the free dating sites (we’ll talk about their disadvantages in a minute). Bottom line – nothing beats getting something for free. It is never better to pay for something than getting it free of charge.

But do we get the same thing?
Do we indeed compare apples to apples?
Are there any major, serious, real differences between free dating services to their commercial competitors?

The answer to the last question is in most cases YES.

The glaring differance is paid sites have 100’s of thousands of listed users that are inactive. Their motivation is profit so many schemes are used to keep you hooked and comming back with your monthly subscription.

Let’s compare various factors between totally free dating websites and paid ones:

• The Quantity of MembersOne of the key factors that helps to evaluate the user’s chances for success in finding potential dates is the size of the dating site’s user base.
  The big commercial sites have millions of registered members. Most are inactive or false loss leaders.
  The free dating sites don’t even come close. They have quality members as the membership is cleared regularly of inactive members.
• The Quality of Members
  
  Here’s a question for you: where will you find more high quality singles?
  Will it be on free sites? Or rather on pay sites?The answer to that is.
  The assumtion is that people who pay $50 dolars a month are more seriouse about dating.
  They actually paid money in order to find other serious relationship seekers.
  They’re not looking for “fun” or to kill another hour.
  They want to meet singles that share the same seriousness in finding a partner and yet so many members of paid sites are scammed or end up meeting men who are married and just looking for some fling.

The type of people you will find on paid dating sites are typically higher quality.
High quality singles are looking for other high quality singles. They’re willing to invest a relatively small fee in order to find exactly what they look for. Is this true? Why theen are so many unhappy with the people they meet on these paid sites. Why do so many chat but never meet.

People on paid sites are better looking.
Compare any free site to any pay site.
The men and women on pay sites look much better – period.

ANY ONE WHO BELIEVES THIS STATEMENT IS NAIVE TO SAY THE LEAST. JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THE FREE SOCIAL SITES LIKE FACEBOOK, ICQ ETC.

Singles on paid dating sites are in a better financial situation
They can afford a dating site membership and at least some of them look for other singles who also have a decent and stable income. AGAIN AN ASSUMPTION AS MOST DATING SITE MEMBERS ARE ON 3 OR MORE SITES SOME PAID AND SOME FREE.

Members on paid dating sites are better educated.
Compare the percentage of MA graduates on free dating sites and paid ones.
Members on paid sites have better educations. AGAIN AN ASSUMPTION AS MOST DATING SITE MEMBERS ARE ON 3 OR MORE SITES SOME PAID AND SOME FREE

• The Risk of Fraud and ScamsIn many cases, free dating sites are virtually a paradise for all sorts of scammers, con artists and dubious characters.
  The problem lies down in the fact that anybody can join a free dating site with no way of identifying who they are such as with a credit card or other means.

  Scammers don’t need to pull out their credit cards on free sites, so very little can be done to stop them.
  When they are being spotted, almost nothing prevents them from coming back under a new alias, continuing to scam new victims.
  After all, the free sites are open for everybody.

  Commercial sites are not completely free of scammers. However, the fact that one has to put in their credit card information tends to reduce those who are just trying to scam others.

  Commercial sites have better motivation to protect their subscribers from scammers.
  They don’t want to get a bad reputation and they exert a lot of efforts to protect those on their site. Word of mouth is very important when it comes to dating sites, and the paid dating sites want their reputation to be top-notch.

  • Scamming is big business today and run by syndicates in most countries. The truth is most pais sites do have scammers and many people have been suckered out of their money on these sites. The truth is it depends on how strict he webmaster of the site is. Free sites are not driven by profit from members subscriptions and so will delete all members immediately when there is a complaint. Just take a look at facebook and other sites of the same vain all free.
  • Paid sites are less rigid as they can open themselves up to legal litigation as there has been a finantial trnsaction and money paid for a service.
  • Paid sites are reluctant to remove mebers as this will reduce their profit stream.
  • Paid sites will not remove inactive memebers as this is their big selling ticket that they have 100’s of thousands of members. Rich pickings for scammers as their approach is a numbers game.

AT THE END OF THE DAY THERE IS NO REAL DIFINITIVE POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE BETWEEN PAID AND FREE SITES OTHER THEN AS IN REAL LIFE USE YOUR COMMEN SENSE. VISIT THE SITES THAT KEEP UP TO DATE WITH THE LATEST SCAMS AND EMPOWER YOURSELF WITH THAT KNOWLEDGE. JOIN 3 OR MORE SITES AND SPREAD YOUR NET WIDE.

WITH FREE SITES YOU AT LEAST CANNOT GET SCAMMED BY THE WEBSITE FOR A MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION.

Light relief

God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions so he decides to create a companion for man as well.
He comes to see Adam and says to him, “Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She will worship the very ground you walk on, she will long for you and no other, she will wait on you hand and foot and obey your every command, and all it will cost you is an arm and a leg.”
Thinking for a few moments, Adam replies reluctantly, “I don’t know God, an arm and a leg is an awful lot, what could I get for, say, a rib…”

A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take good care of you and bring you food every day.”

Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, “I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me happy.”

The girl nodded ‘yes.’ After all, what did she have to lose?
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a life-boat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain.
“What are you doing here?” the Captain asked.
“I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she explained.
“He’s taking me to Europe, and he’s screwing me.”
To which the Captain replied, “He sure is, lady… This is the Staten Island Ferry.”